The Author:
Kelly Baker was born in 1981 on the Feast Day of St. Fulk. Unlike Fulk, she rendered little assistance to the plague victims of her native town, but she did enjoy Labyrinth, starring Davie Bowie as the Goblin King.
Kelly’s home town is named after an agent of the Canada Company who famously cut down a tree.
The preponderance of Kelly’s brief and beautiful life hitherto has been spent either traipsing around the countless forested lakes of untamed Canada, or jacked into the Matrix. These two great contexts of Kelly’s life are irreconcilable. This is ok; she is a Gemini and that is how she plays.
Kelly enjoys driving, smoking, eating rice wrapped round avocados, philosophy, and polaroid photography. She does not enjoy mobs, feeling left out, wrecking her knee, or wittgenstein. She loves billiards and teh internets.
Kelly’s secret knickerbocker name is Penelope Q. Merriweather. Her secret assassin name is Vodka Jones. Her car is a Vibe, her show is Zim, her boots are black and kicky, and her neck is covered in sleeping cats.
When Kelly grows up, she would like to own a house in the middle of nowhere. You will all be invited.
[Courtesy of long-time roommate and bosom buddy, Mr. Lucas Weiler]