What does it mean to live communally? I have my ideas. I have beautiful visions of shared childcare, cooking and eating food together, multi-family gardens, cooperatively owned businesses. And all of those things feel very doable right now from where I am in life. But whether my ideas are too far fetched or we live too far away from others (my anxiety tells me that it’s me), it seems that others don’t see this beautiful vision, or that others are unwilling to share this way of life with my family.

I know 9-5 life is exhausting, and I know that people’s lives are full. But I struggle when people don’t return messages, or continually reschedule play dates. Is it society or is it me? Am I the one who always needs to initiate contact because I’m needy or because other people are legitimately too busy? Is it my social anxiety or is it capitalist culture? From where I am, it’s hard to see, and I am filled with self-doubt.

Social media has shown me that I’m not the only one who has these dreams. But we are few and far between and sometimes that distance makes me feel even more lonely.

I keep hope that community will present itself when COVID lifts, but sometimes I’m not so sure. Sometimes it feels bigger than lock downs.

And legitimately I am happy with life as it is right now. I have an amazing family and get to spend my days living a self-directed life with acres of wilderness around me. I find community in that nature with my non-human relations. But I do feel like community is a solution to some of the bigger problems that we face and I’d like to share this way of life with others.