There’s nothing like heading to a big city to show one’s self the bubble in which one lives; unmasking the privilege I hold. Out in my rural paradise, I’m not witness to the complexities and realness of poverty, homelessness, expensivess, and inaccessibility of the big city. Its terrifying.

Yesterday I walked passed homeless folks, people possibly overdosing on drugs, those in need. I did so because I didn’t feel like I could help or maybe because I was scared for my well being and the well being of my kids. I felt hopeless.

But now I can’t sleep. I feel ashamed.

I take silent vows to do more, to help more next time. To be ready to lend hands, have resources, to get involved, to not wait for the next person to come along and help. To overcome my fear and see people in need of support rather than people who could do me harm.

I hope I don’t forget these silent early morning vows and become complacent again. I write them here as a reminder to hold myself accountable.